The importance of family names

When I had my children, the thought never entered my mind to name them after their grandparents or other ancestors.  As young people, we tend to consider our parents' names 'old-fashioned' and aim to give our own children something contemporary or popular.

But I'm talking about family names here - surnames.  When my children were born, I had no real interest in family history and knew nothing of my ancestors beyond my grandparents.  I did know my maternal grandmother had the same first and middle names as her mother, and that her first name is my mother’s middle name.  I also knew my paternal grandmother had the middle name Guthrie and as a kid I thought it odd, a girl having a name like that.  It never occurred to me it was a family name but then again I didn’t dwell on it.

Margaret Guthrie Kidd was named for her great-grandmother, Margaret Guthrie; I know that now.  She was born in New Zealand to a Scottish father and a New Zealand-born daughter of Scottish immigrants.  The Scots had the right idea.  Time and again I’ve seen maiden names as middle names.

I constantly drop family information into conversations I have with family; I can’t help it.  My kids aren’t really interested – as I wasn’t – but I’m hoping some of it will sink in.  When my brother’s partner was pregnant, I suggested they think of giving the baby a family name as a middle name, as I regretted not doing so with mine.  Their child now carries a maternal family name as a middle name.

One of my grandchildren has a grandmother’s maiden name as a middle name.  Another grandchild’s middle name is a blend of my first name and the first name of a great-grandfather.  When she grows up she’ll wonder at that name and I hope be proud she carries something of me.

I want to tell people: honour your ancestors by remembering them.  If you’re a female, don’t let your female family names disappear.  Consider giving a child your maiden name as a middle or even first name; give a child a family name that belonged to a great or great-great-grandparent.

One day that child will grow up.  One day that child will think about their names and wonder why they were chosen or created.  One day they will be proud to carry the name of an ancestor.

Does loyalty count for nothing?

With the impending changes to British laws and the repercussions for Kiwis on their OEs, is it time to re-think our relationship with Britain?  With the bias against Kiwis in Australia, is it time to re-evaluate our relationship with our nearest neighbour?  Does loyalty count for nothing now?  Are we just "too soft" when it comes to our relationships with our "sister" countries?

Debate rages presently about changing our country's flag.  Next month we will choose to either adopt the new design or retain the current flag.  The only difference really, is replacement of the Union Jack with the silver fern.  We appear to like the blue representing the southern ocean and the stars representing the Southern Cross - we all seem to relate to them.  The debate appears to be over having the Union Jack as part of our flag.  None of the options selected for a new flag included it.  Yes, we have a colonial history and many if not most of us have English, Welsh, Scots and/or Irish blood - but no, we are not British.  Yes, we have genes, language, laws, structure and history in common - but no, we are not British.

What have we done to deserve this shoddy treatment by Britain?  Was standing in front, behind and side by side through two world wars not loyal?  It was happy then to consider us "one of them".  Does Britain now consider us too much removed to be considered related?  If so, why should we retain their flag as part of ours?

BUT - We may not be British but Britain is part of us, like it or not.  I for one wouldn't exist but for my British ancestors, hardy immigrants all of them.  Perhaps those immigrants were different, not like the average Brit.  Maybe they were ready to cut ties.

Kiwis in Australia get a rough deal compared with other immigrants.  Big sister Australia likes to belittle and ridicule little Aotearoa.  Australians in New Zealand are treated much better.  Once again, we show a loyalty to our shared history and genes, a loyalty not reciprocated.

Are we scared to stand on our own, is that why there's fear about letting go of some of our past?  Loyalty appears to count for nothing, so maybe we have nothing to lose.

What makes a politician?

What makes a person want to be a politician?  Is it the prestige, the power, the opportunity to improve things, or is it just about money?  Governments the world over seem to be much of a muchness.  Deceit, bullying, arrogance and smugness appear to be traits of some politicians in every government.  Who do these people think they are and why do we let them get away with it?  They are not our bosses, not our owners.  They're supposed to work for us.  We pay them, so why don't we have a say when it comes to perks and pay-rises?

In the "civilised world", governments are always speaking of cut-backs and down-sizing to try and save the country money, yet they don't cut back or down-size their own salaries, perks and pensions.  They're quite happy to take their twice or thrice-yearly pay increases, regardless of whether or not they're earned or deserved.  They certainly don't need them; how could they when they pay for literally nothing?  The increases aren't small either - usually over 10 per cent.  While they take that with one hand, with the other they decree wage earners will get only one or two per cent a year because "times are hard" and people "must manage their money better" and "learn to economise".  Sure, they know people are struggling - well, they say they do - but they're hardly in touch with the real world.  When one's getting several hundred thousand dollars a year plus perks (meaning we the tax-payers pay for their accommodation, cars, petrol, air travel, clothes, etc. etc.) they lose touch.  When you don't pay your own power or fuel bills, why on earth would sky-rocketing power or petrol prices affect you?  From that lofty position it would be easy to make the assumption the great struggling unwashed public don't know how to manage their money.

I'm sure there must be "good" politicians, people who went into the game because they want to do good, and the salary and everything that goes with it is just the icing on the cake.  I'm also enough of a realist to know one can't change things without jumping through hoops and you just can't jump when your ankles are tied.  It must be incredibly frustrating at times, seeing how things could be fixed but being unable to do anything about it.

Okay yes, constantly being interviewed and attending meetings would be tiring.  Yes, the hours are long and one's in the public eye, every grimmace, facial tic and smirk reported upon.  But gee, working days are long for everyone.  Working one or more jobs to make ends meet, with all the travel and child-care costs that entails, missing out on your kids' special days because you have to work or sleep, knowing the onus is on you to pay for everything - that's tiring.  Struggling is tiring.

Our ancestors were miners, sawyers, agricultural labourers, blacksmiths, carpenters, weavers, soldiers; they knew what hard work was.  They emigrated to make a better life for their families.  Far as I know, not a one of them ever ventured into politics.  Who'd want to be a politician?

Grammar, spelling and punctuation - Are they still important?

When I was at primary school in the 1960s, every morning we recited the timestables from 2x1 through to 12x12.  All these years later, the answers still come automatically to me.

Once a week we had a "spelling bee" and it was a matter of pride to move up to the next level book.  Punctuation and grammar were given the same attention.  How it annoys me now on social media to see misuse of apostrophes and capital letters, not to mention misspellings.  The most common and annoying error appears to be "your" for you+are (you're).  Some people think every word ending in s must have an apostrophe before the s.  Have they never stopped to think of the actual purpose of an apostrophe?

I guess if one can make sense of the sentence, it doesn't really matter about spelling or punctuation but grammar is probably more important.  Grammatical errors can be quite humorous; they're common in newspapers and magazines these days, not to mention on television.  "Stupidness", "ambitiousness"?  We know what is meant but they are so wrong.

Though I could spell and punctuate relatively well during my childhood, my grammar was less than perfect.  One example was saying "should of" rather than "should have"; another was a "k" at the end of words ending with "thing", e.g. "something" became "somethink".  I wasn't even aware I was doing it.  Once my errors were pointed out to me, I became very conscious of the way I spoke and that in turn made me aware of how others speak.

It's not as if I don't still make the odd grammatical error but I'm careful with how I word things.  It's a similar thing with spelling; I can usually tell when I spell an unfamiliar word incorrectly.  I'm not happy with, "Oh, it doesn't matter; people will know what I mean."  I have to make sure I get it right; it's the perfectionist in me.

It's said the English language is a difficult one to learn.  I don't know how people learning English as a second or third language can get to grips with it when it confuses those that are "born into it".  Language is a constantly evolving entity, I understand that, but surely punctuation was created for a reason?  Or was it?  Who first used punctuation and capital letters and what made them do so?

Perhaps young people today have decided it's no longer important.  With "text speak", are vowels even necessary?  Is language going to become a blend of letters and numbers; will numbers replace apostrophes?  Texting is a nightmare for "oldies" like me.

L8ers

Tangata Whenua: To be or not to be

Another Waitangi Day; another "national celebration".  To be quite honest, I don't find much to celebrate.  I know this is a beautiful country - I wouldn't truly like to live anywhere else - but beauty's just skin deep isn't it?  It's what's under the skin that really matters.

As a family researcher, I wonder if I'd think and feel differently if I had Maori DNA?  The first time I saw a photograph of one of my great-great-grandmothers, I wondered if she had Maori blood.  It was the lips that did it.  Turned out she wasn't part Maori at all but an English immigrant with a very distinctive mouth.  As a six year-old in the 1960s I was asked by a class-mate if I was a Maori, because I had "big lips".

Try as I might, I can't claim any Maori ancestry.  My mitochondrial DNA tells me my ancient ancestors lived in what is now known as Greece, before spreading out to Scandanavia and the British Isles.  Before Greece, they were in what is now called Africa, the cradle of humankind.  My more recent ancestors were of British extraction.  End of.

Did I want to find evidence of Maori lineage?  In a way, yes.  I already feel a part of this land - I have no other to call home - but even after five generations it's not considered my country.  I have relatives with Maori ancestry, even my own grand-daughters.  Trying to untangle New Zealand families to make us "one or the other" would be near on impossible.

None of us sprung from the soil; none of us has more right to water and air than anyone else.  Yes, there are some genuine grievances and they need to be addressed, but greed, brutality and racism are not traits of any one race.  What it comes down to is we are all immigrants to this country and we are all New Zealanders.

What's happening to the weather?

It's early January and for those of us in the southern hemisphere it should be stinking hot.  It's certainly not freezing but I've taken to wearing long-sleeved tops again.

Days of ferocious wind and torrential rain seem to have been the norm over the last few summers.  What on earth is happening to our seasons?

I've recently added some links about climate change on my links site.

The end of the world is nigh

Well, another year is almost over.  Who would have thought we'd all still be here.  Between Nostradamus and the Mayans, I've been living in fear of eminent death for years (yes, I jest).

Waiting for and believing in the end of the world is not a new thing.  It's something that's been discussed, written about and promised since the year dot.  It's a certain thing that indeed one day our world will come to an end but I wonder how many young children hold that fear in their secret hearts.  Years ago when my science teacher informed the class the sun was dying, I truly thought it was going to happen in my lifetime.  It was on my mind regularly - such is the power of suggestion.

If only those in the various media would realise the impact they have on young minds.  Is it really necessary to give credence to the ramblings of doomsayers?  With the world as it is today - everything in one's face on numerous screens - there's no getting away from the mutterings of idiots and scaremongers.

A desert island's looking really good these days.

Scotland going it alone?

I see that Alex Salmond and British prime minister David Cameron have signed an agreement paving the way for the possible break up of the United Kingdom.  The Edinburgh Agreement was signed by the prime minister and the first minister at the Scottish government headquarters at St Andrew’s House.  The deal sets out the terms for a ground-breaking vote in 2014 on Scottish independence.

I've been watching a weekly programme on channel 12 (NZ) about Scotland's history.  What a tumultous history Scotland has endured.  Our own McPikes fought at Culloden on the side of 'Bonnie Prince Charlie', before escaping to Ireland.

I wonder what independence now would mean for Scotland.

WDYTYA?

Going by messages on genealogy mailing lists, it appears not all family researchers are impressed with the latest series of the popular UK television programme 'Who Do You Think You Are?'.  I think it's great that a series of this sort is on telly.

I put forward my view that a 'celebrity' likely has enough money to pay researchers to do the grunt work whereas an average person does not, and that it would be nice if the show's producers did a series about 'average' people's family histories.  Apparently this was done several years ago and it wasn't popular; people want celebrity.  Someone commented that when it comes down to it the show is about entertainment, that the show's producers are in competition with other channels, so give the viewers what they want.

If I don't know of the celebrity in question, I won't watch, so maybe there's something in that.  Then again, if the programme was about Josephine Blogg's family history, maybe I would.  Real researching doesn't happen within the hour - it takes days, weeks, months or years.  I'd love the professionals to find all the documentation for me; they know where to look after all.  Even better would be not having to pay for it.

Safeguarding memories

We're all getting older and as we age, illness and deaths in the family become more commonplace.

What do you know about your parents and grandparents early lives?  Have you ever thought of recording them?

Several years ago I created a form called "In a Nutshell".  My father was seriously ill at the time and I realised there were many things I didn't know about him and his formative years.  So I thought of all the things I wanted to know about him and sent him the form.  Then I did the same for my mother, and filled in one myself for my children.  My father is now no longer with us but I have his completed form and what a wonderful archive it is for his descendants (and in his own hand).

The blank form can be viewed and/or downloaded here.
Should you have a digital camera with video, consider recording your family members as you ask them questions about their childhoods and lives.  Ask their permission first of course.

The Ghosts in your Genes

The other night I watched a doco called "The Ghost in your Genes".  It was about how trauma and diet of a grandparent can affect their grandkids years down the line, even if they've never met or experienced that trauma or bad diet.  Apparently genes have a memory.  Makes me realise just how little control we actually have over our own bodies.  Health we can control (to a degree), but our genes - no.